UNEXPECTED STRIPTEASE

                                        A Secret Striptease

     When I arrived in Yorkshire, England the weather had turned considerably cooler, so for the first hike up the moors I decided to wear my silk long johns under my light weight slacks.

     Because of the literary history and fame of the area I was excited and was hoping to see some heather on my first moor hike. It was over 1000-feet straight up to the top of the moor.  However we zig zagged over a switchback path through pastureland and open fields during the 2-3 hour climb. The rather cool wind made me realize I’d made the right wardrobe choice in the early morning.

     At the top the wind was so strong that I thought it might actually blow over one little lady in the group. But on the other side of the moor it was much warmer and practically windless on the sunny day, so that is where we sat to eat our lunch. After lunch our guides tried to teach us some sort of a ball game popular in England.

     The hike down the moor was over a relatively smooth ‘farm road’ with a gentle decline.  Later the guide told us that most groups are taken up over the road, but they thought we were fit enough for the more rugged climb through the pastures. None of us complained!

     With the wind gone and the sun high in the cloudless sky I began to get warm and started thinking about how I was going to get those long johns off.  About half way down we stopped to visit an ancient church.  I entertained  removing those  silkies in the  crypt, but on second thought maybe not. Back up from the crypt and outside I decided the cemetery was the perfect place for a striptease!

     Sitting on a large tombstone just off the main walkway I slipped off one boot and quickly removed my leg from both  the silky and trouser leg, shoved my leg back in the trouser leg and my  foot into my boot. Then I repeated that process with the other leg. Quickly I balled up  the long johns and shoved them in my pocket,  retied my boots and was ready to move on. Quick as a flash I had performed my striptease with no one aware of what I was doing.

     Back on the road, after a bit I reached in my pocket to pull out a bit of my silkies and poked my friend in the arm saying, “Look what I’ve got.”

     Amazed she replied, “How did you do that?”

     “I'll  never tell,” I giggled.

A SCARY ARRIVAL

                                                  Scary Arrival

     Most flights to Central and South America arrive in the evening which means one usually arrives in the dark. Before I went to Peru I read that violent crime was very low but in major cities pickpockets and slash-and-run activities were rampant.

    Although securing a taxi inside the Lima airport  was more expensive than outside, it was highly recommended because of safety and reliability factors. Approaching the taxi counter I confirmed the price from the airport to the suburb of Miraflores.

     Our driver clad in a suit and tie spoke almost no English, so I showed him the name of the hotel and address printed on a piece of paper.  Yes, yes he understood.

     Like many places I’ve been, driving Lima is like playing a game of .chicken.  Honking horns are a constant, and thank goodness the cab had good brakes!  Traffic lights were few and everyone ignored the few stop signs.  I had noticed the cab had no dents which was a plus and a bit of a comfort.

     On the edge of the city we rode through barrios where disheveled people, mostly men, stood in groups on street corners smoking and drinking.  I said a silent prayer for no vehicle mishap, an accident or flat tire.

     It was a relief to leave the barrios, but then we were on a paved two lane winding road that appeared to be following the coastline or a body of water.  There were no street lights or any sign of buildings, and it was very dark.

     Were we on the right road?  Would we be robbed, ambushed or worse?  Would we be dumped with no idea where we were and unable to speak the language beyond a little pidgin Spanish?  All kinds of scenarios flashed across my mind.  I was nervous and very quiet on that ride, as was my son in the front seat.

     Suddenly the bright lights of Miraflores appeared.  The area of neat homes and well-kept yards was a welcome sight. A sigh of relief escaped my lips when I spotted our hotel. While I was paying the driver, my son off loaded the luggage and before I could turn around, hotel staff had whisked our luggage inside.

     In retrospect, it was probably a very pretty ride in daylight, but in total darkness it was very scary indeed!